For years I struggled with how to say no. And mean it. As a result, I got myself caught up in things I really didn’t want to be in, or doing, with people I really didn’t want to be with.

In the process of growth, we realize, somewhere along the way, that we’ve got to have a strong NO to get anywhere in life, especially to live big dreams.

So I’m presenting here 22 Ways to Say No.

Before presenting the ways to say no, four reminders are in order:

1. If low self worth and/or low self esteem are operating at high levels in your consciousness, you’ll continue to be challenged in saying no.

Another way of putting it is: the more self-love, self-appreciation, self-worth and self-esteem you develop and acknowledge, the more comfortable you’ll become with saying no.

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2. When you don’t have a strong YES, you won’t have a strong no.

Another way of putting it is: When you take a stand in your life for what you believe in, when you decide to live on purpose–no matter what it exacts from you, and when you decide what you’re FOR, you can easily articulate what you’re NOT FOR.

Example: A strong stand for peace means NO to arguments and conflicts.

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3. When you are more concerned with what other people think of you than you are with what you think of you, you won’t have a strong no.

Another way of putting it is: when you know your truth–which arises from the core of your soul, from the deepest parts of your being, from your heart and from your Spirit–and you stand in it, you’ll know that this is the only thing that really matters, and everyone else’s input is simply food for thought, not law.

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4. If you need other people’s permission to say no, you’re in trouble.

Another way of putting it is: once you say no, mean it. End the conversation. Your decision has been made. Don’t make your into a question. It’s a statement.

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Here’s How To Say No–22 Ways. Have fun with them and always infuse your responses with love:

1. “Check back with me in 24 months.” (This short circuits people who try to rush you into saying yes.)

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2. “Thanks but no thanks.” (It’s important not to get huffy or mad with the person for asking you something you think is out of the question. Thank them.)

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3. “Thank you for asking, but that’s just not for me.”

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4. “Perhaps that would work in another time and space–it doesn’t work where I am now. But thank you for asking.”

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5. “I’ll consider it in prayer and get back to you within 12 months.”

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6. “No thank you. What else do you want to talk about?”

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7. “That is a project I would love to do, however my plate is full. Thank you for asking!” (Use this one only if it’s true, there are some projects you would love to do, but you can’t say yes to them all at the same time.)

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8. “It doesn’t align with my purpose.”

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9. “My coach has challenged me to stay on purpose and that isn’t purposeful for me. Thanks for asking.” (Great for deflecting the focus away from you if you’re just beginning to flex your no muscles.)

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10. “My coach challenged me to under-commit myself, so I’ll pass.”

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11. “That idea doesn’t work for me. What other ideas do you have?” (If you’re saying no to a specific idea, but not to the whole proposition.)

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12. “That idea doesn’t work for me… here’s what would work for me…” (then state what would work for you.)

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13. “I’m working on a project now that requires my full attention and focus. When I’m done, I’ll contact you.”

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14. “Let me ask Jesus and I’ll get back to you in 40 days.”

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or

“Let me ask my Inner Being and I’ll get back to you in 40 days.”

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or

“Let me ask Buddha and I’ll get back to you in 40 days.”

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or

“Let me ask Allah and I’ll get back to you in 40 days.”

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or

“Let me ask the Goddess and I’ll get back to you in 40 days.”

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or

“Let me ask ____________(name of your deity) and I’ll get back to you in 40 days.”

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15. “I’ll be fasting for clarity in the new year. I’ll include your request. You’ll hear from me in late January if it’s a go.”

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16. “Sounds like a great idea. I’m not interested but I think _________ would be. Is it okay if I give her/him your number?”

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17. “Sounds like a winner! I won’t be participating, but I wish you amazing success!”

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18. “I’m honored you thought of me! I’ve got my hands full now so I won’t be participating. Thank you anyway!”

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19. “That sounds fascinating! However I’m not taking on any new projects at this time. Be blessed in your undertaking!”

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20. “I’m not in the market for an opportunity like this right now. Thank you anyway!”

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21. “I’d love to spend time with your little darlings. Let’s schedule a time next year.” (For those of you who can’t say no to those lovely babysitting opportunities… can you tell I’m being sarcastic…)

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22. “I don’t feel like it.” (Works amazingly well with kids and mates, though you may have to repeat it several times before it really hits them. I tried this one Thanksgiving vacation when I wanted to just sit down and watch movies. The family had every imaginable request while I was laying back in the massage chair watching Tyler Perry. I just kept saying “I don’t feel like it” and it worked… they didn’t know what to do with that one.)

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Tip: For persistent people who keep asking, repeat your NO response 3 times, only slightly varying the wording. They will get the point, unless they are incredibly dense.

There you have it, you are now fully equipped to say NO!

Your NO is not just in words, it’s in your being, which will be reflected in your demeanor and your tone as you deliver your NO powerfully.

For it to be effective, your NO must arise from inner strength.

Remember, your life is to be lived on your terms, not someone else’s.

Love you,

VAL

Tags: Daily Inspiration, how to say no, inspiration, inspirational messages, motivation