7 Key Aspects of Powerfully Effective Coaching

What is coaching?

I get asked this question pretty often, and I sometimes get stumped on exactly how to answer it, not because I don’t know what coaching is, but because coaching is so many things that I don’t know where to begin.

So, I’m writing this article for my own benefit just as much as for yours.

I’m offering here a description and definition of coaching that helps you understand what coaching is by clearly identifying the 7 Key Aspects of Powerfully Effective Coaching.

Later this week I’ll create more posts that specifically answer:

• What’s the difference between traditional coaching and Spiritual Life Coaching?

• How do I know when I need a coach?

• How do I find a coach that’s right for me?

• What about the coach’s training, credentials and experience—how do I find out about these?

For now, we’re going to tackle the 7 Key Aspects of Powerfully Effective Coaching. I define effective coaching as coaching that causes, elicits and/or is the catalyst for the clearly defined result(s) the client desires, in the most elegant manner possible. (Elegance means the greatest result with the least amount of effort/hard work. I’m averse to working hard…and certainly wouldn’t recommend it.)

7 Key Aspects of Powerfully Effective Coaching

Coaching is all the buzz now, everyone has a life coach, or wants to get one, or wants to be one. From my vantage point as a professionally trained coach, 7 key aspects must be present for great & powerfully effective coaching to occur:

1. The relationship. Coaching, first and foremost, is a relationship forged between two people (coach and client) based on trust, respect & confidentiality. To me, great coaching can only take place when both parties have consciously committed to a trusting and respectful relationship.

2. The client’s confidence in the coach. Since both parties must trust, it naturally flows that the client must believe the coach has expertise, knowledge, experience, skills, tools and delivery methods that will support the client in moving forward.

If a client believes in the coach’s competence, experience and skill level and thinks the coach can actually help him/her get to where he/she wants to be, a great coaching relationship can unfold.

3. The coach’s effectiveness. The coach, on the other hand, must possess the expertise, knowledge, experience, skills, tools and delivery methods that are effective. Coaches are, many times, measured by results. If the coach is effective, and the client is ready, willing and able, results will become evident, usually in a short period of time.

4. The coach’s belief in their own effectiveness. This is a biggie. There are lots of people in the world who are great at what they do, but don’t act like it, including coaches. Quite a bit of the people who are great at what they do don’t own their greatness. They play small, hide their talents, pretend to be less than they are, or any variation of these lack-of-confidence behaviors.

Many coaches suffer from this mis-concept of self, including me. I don’t always see myself as I truly am. I don’t always see my effectiveness and I’m reluctant at times to say how good I am at what I do, even though my effectiveness as a great coach has been proven over and over again. (I’m working on it…)

For a coach to be powerfully effective, they’ve got to know and understand the value they bring to a client’s life. This is essential and cannot be overly stressed.

5. A space is prepared. What’s a space? In my coaching practice, the space is the loving, non-judgmental regard I hold for the client. It’s an open and safe space for the client to reveal anything. I do mean anything. In that space, I remember the client as divine, whole, perfect and able to solve all their own issues, they just need guidance in the moment. I am absolutely convinced that every client can succeed, and will, eventually. When there is such a space provided, and the client feels safe and free to express without being judged or criticized, true communication can occur.

6. Communication through connected conversation. What’s connected conversation? It’s a conversation in which both client and coach are fully present: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It means all senses are engaged, including and not limited to the spiritual sense of intuition, in addition to the 5 physical senses.

It means the coach is so present and listening so deeply to what’s being said that what’s being unsaid is revealed.

This is a skill that takes lots of practice. It’s not easy to listen to someone while totally suspending all internal thoughts, chatter, problems, issues, etc. Yet, the most effective coaches are able to hone in so closely on the client’s words, pauses, volume, pace, tone, inflection, verbal cues, sighs, facial clues and other bodily moves that a wealth of information can be gathered from a simple sentence. That’s great coaching.

In connected conversations, the coach knows what to ask next, and knows when the client is not being forthcoming or truthful (yeah, we all lie—we’ve been deeply conditioned to believe that telling the truth can equal pain—finding the path to consistent truth-telling and always coming completely clean is a worthy practice to cultivate).

7. Something to shoot for. In basketball, what the team is shooting for is a net. The premise is incredibly simple: put the ball in the net more times than the other team and you win. Well, life is incredibly simple too, yet, just as a basketball coach realizes that there are thousands of variables that come into play, the same with great life coaches. It sounds simple to live a good life and fulfill your purpose & potential, yet, it’s not always easy for us to do. We need help and support along the way. In a coaching relationship, the best coaching happens when the client is clear about what they’re shooting for, or at least is open to getting clear with some support and guidance from the coach.

What’s the goal?

What’s the vision?

What’s the end result?

What are we going for?

When we ask and answer these questions clearly, we create a barometer by which to measure success. One of the major reasons people fail is because they don’t know, clearly and definitively, what they’re actually going for. There’s usually a mix of ego-driven desires and true heart’s desires, which need to be fleshed out and clarified.

How can you reach a target when you don’t even know what the target is?

Clearly defined outcomes are critical to the coaching relationship.

Now that you understand the basics of a coaching relationship, this whole discussion might have bought up even more questions. I can understand that, and I’ll address a lot more about coaching this week.

A word of caution for you: don’t get too caught up in reading about coaching rather than actually engaging in coaching. My guess is, if you’re reading this, you’re in the market for a powerfully effective coach. The only way you’ll really determine if a coach is for you or not is to talk with the coach, ask some great questions and trust your instincts. You’ll know what to do.

See you here tomorrow,

Valerie Love

P.S. — You can e-mail me to get a complimentary 15 minute coaching session. I offer these as a way to introduce prospective clients to coaching, and so that we can determine if we’re a match. If you’re looking for a coach, and you’re serious about doing what’s required to get what you want, e-mail me at: valerielove@LiveYourDestinyToday.com

Tags: achievement, conscious living, Destiny Living, Life Coaching, living on purpose, living with passion, trust