The other day I was conducting a coaching call with a client when it struck me that most people who have succeeded to a great degree have a Stuff Management Process.
What’s that? To me, a Stuff Management Process (SMP) is a technical term for:
1. Learning what keeps me from moving forward (hereby known as ‘my stuff’)
2. Owning ‘my stuff’ (not blaming my lack of success on my mate, my parents, my kids, the dog, the cat…)
3. Making the decision to do something about ‘my stuff’ (no choice is still a choice)
4. Actually creating & implementing systems to manage ‘my stuff’ whenever it rears its ugly head (i.e. - creating a SMP)
So, with that said, what’s a Stuff Management Process?
Before I answer that, let’s talk a little more about ’stuff’.
I love Cher. To me, she’s an icon. When she steps on stage she’s the epitome of poise and confidence. So I was rather shocked to hear her say, at 61 years of age, that she still has stage fright and freaks out just before she takes the stage. She’s now performing in Vegas in a huge auditorium and gets the shakes just before she goes on.
That’s stuff.
Stuff is anything that:
- keeps you from your authentic greatness
- tries to undermine your usefulness or value
- makes you think you don’t know or can’t do it
- makes you feel stuck or paralyzed
- keeps you in little-ness
- neutralizes your power
That’s stuff.
Now, what happens in Cher’s case is that she has a friend who’s been with her for years who slaps her (not really) and kicks her out onto the stage. The friend told Cher “If God didn’t want you to be doing this, He never would have pointed at you in your bassinet and said “Sequins!”
Cher’s friend helps set her mind right for getting out on stage by reminding her of her authentic greatness and her natural talent and ability–which she’s worked hard at for decades–earning her the right to be on stage.
Whether she knows it or not, Cher’s friend is part of Cher’s Stuff Management Process. When Cher’s stuff comes up, the friend helps her manage it. Cher then puts her stuff aside and steps out on stage to deliver an amazing performance. Every time.
That’s what a SMP can do for you. It allows you to put your stuff aside so you can do the amazing.
Let’s be real, everyone has stuff. It’s a human thing. Gotta love it. The key is to not be over-run, paralyzed, neutralized or slowed down by your stuff. A Stuff Management Process allows you to shine in spite of your stuff, no matter how much of it you have.
Some stuff will go away after we’ve gained experience, which breeds confidence. Other stuff will go away when we discover that it’s a flat out lie (most of us lie to ourselves on a regular basis–every I can’t, don’t know, wouldn’t, shouldn’t is a lie). Some stuff never goes away. The key is to manage it effectively in order to achieve high success.
I’ve got some stuff that’s been hanging around for years, whereas when I look back my old journals, I see I’ve worked through lots of stuff and have forgotten it. If it’s still there, its effects are negligible.
Here are 7 components you can use to create a Stuff Management Process that’s effective enough to breed high success:
1. Get a coach. Accountability is a huge stuff eliminator. When there’s something we really, really, really want, and we’re willing to do what it takes to bring it into reality, accountability is a good thing. When we’re trying to force ourselves to fulfill a ’should’ that doesn’t touch core passions, accountability is a pain. Don’t get accountability to do the things you think you should be doing, get accountability to do the things you’re passionate about and truly desire to do. There’s a huge difference.
2. Get a really honest friend (who’s also successful) who loves you enough to tell you the truth. Cher’s backstage friend is the perfect example. She’s been with Cher for years, is honest enough to tell her the truth and is willing to give her the figurative slap in the face she needs to step into her greatness. The reason you want the person who fills this role to be highly successful is because you want someone who’s personally demonstrated a commitment to success so they can support you in being committed to your own success. Besides, they won’t be threatened by your gifts and potential. They want only the best for you, which is whatever level of success you desire to achieve.
3. Start writing. Sit down and write down your goals. Write down everything you want. I know you’ve heard this a 7,000 times, and here it is again. It’s surprising to me, as a coach, just how many people have no clear idea of what they want, because they haven’t taken the time to work through their desires on paper. This process is like cooking in the reverse. When everything stays in your head, it’s a pot of stew with all the ingredients mixed together. When you put your ideas on paper, you can begin to take the idea apart and see the essential ingredients necessary for your recipe. Don’t keep your goals in your head, write them down. The simple act of writing it all down is so powerful because it moves your desires from the the invisible realm of thought to the manifest world of form. It becomes an invaluable first step in the creation process, and you’ll notice forward momentum in spite of your stuff.
4. Set Powerful Intentions. What’s a powerful intention? It’s an emphatic statement to the universe of what you’re going for and of what you desire to experience. (In another post, I’ll offer some of my intention statements.) Intention statements clarify in your mind why you’re doing what you’re doing. When you take the time to craft an intention statement, you’re taking the time to give attention to what you’re expecting out of the experience. Knowing why you’re doing something is critical for success. Once again, it’s got to be fueled by passions. That’s what moves you through (and past) all your stuff, the passionate desire and intention to create something great.
5. Create Affirmations. I know you’ve heard this one 7,000 times too, but I’m saying it again. Affirmations re-shape the subconscious mind. It has the same effect as a mantra. When something is repeated over and over and over and over and over and over again, the conscious mind shuts down and the words can then sink down into the subconscious mind, where immense power lies. Tony Robbins called it the sleeping giant. Your affirmative words will wake the giant and get it moving. Once your giant is awakened and moving, stuff runs out of the way. (In another post I’ll share some of my affirmations and the effects they’ve had.) For example, stating: I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can is powerful. Even saying: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes louder and louder each time is transforming and clears out stuff.
6. Flooding. Flood your mind with positive messages, inspirational stories and tales of folks who have accomplished success to a super-human and super-natural degree. Flood your consciousness with information and inspiration that proves to the dis-believing part of your mind that you can create super-human results too. (More on the process of Flooding, along with step-by-step instructions in a post later this week.)
7. Pray. Everything changes and shifts when we pray. I read a great quote the other day from Science of Mind, written by Ernest Holmes: “Prayer does something to the mind of the one praying.” Make no mistake, God doesn’t need you to pray to Her. She’s good. She’ll live without your prayers. However, you need prayer to get past your stuff.
So there you have it, 7 components you can add to your own Stuff Management Process. There are an infinite number of ways to clear stuff, or move past it. It doesn’t matter what you use, as long as it’s effective for you. One person’s SMP may not be effective for the next person. Be creative.
Do learn to manage your stuff. It will make the difference between a life of mediocrity riddled with regret and what-if’s, and a life of high success characterized by fulfillment, immense joy and deep gratitude for being able to move past stuff and create the miraculous.
Remember the four steps at the outset: know your stuff, own your stuff, decide to do something about your stuff, then create and implement a plan and process to consistently move past your stuff.
It works!
Blessings for your high success,
Valerie Love
Tags: achievement, commitment, intention, living out loud, success
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