After having slept on it last night, upon awaking this morning and while still lying in bed giving thanks, something else came to me about commitment. What happens when we cannot honor our commitments or no longer desire to? What then?
Maybe you had the same question on your mind. Since I like formulas (they make like easier and more predictable) here’s a formula for honoring commitments in excellence:
Step 1: Stop making so many commitments. Problems arise when we agree to do things we don’t really want to do, which causes difficulty when it’s time to keep the commitment. (You know those things you agreed to do because you got caught up in someone else’s agenda and then you didn’t know how to get yourself out of the mess so you chose to avoid, run, hide, be irresponsible, or whatever particular mode you have for not honoring your commitments–you know yourself. I told you about my brand last night: procrastination.)
**2-part remedy if you’re a person who over-commits and then regrets it:
- Use the 7 T’s: Take the time to think things through. Slow down. Slow the situation down. Put everything in slow motion. When you’ve agreed to do things you didn’t want to do, the conversation was probably moving faster than you could keep up, and before you knew it, you said yes.
- Develop a strong no. You get a strong no by having a strong yes. People who have already determined what they stand for, what their purpose is and what their intentions are cannot easily be swayed by other people’s endless agendas. Know what you stand for and state it firmly. The stronger your yes, the stronger your no will become.
This step can be used as a tool for making conscious agreements and commitments–ones which are in alignment with your soul’s purpose–and to make far fewer commitments, which harnesses focus and places it on honoring fewer commitments in an excellent fashion, which makes for happy and stress-free living.
Step 2: If there’s a commitment you’ve already made that you can’t honor (or the commitment no longer aligns with who you are), go to the person/entity you committed to and re-negotiate your commitment to the satisfaction of all parties involved. Communicate clearly and honestly where you are now, versus where you were when you first made the commitment. If you made the commitment based on feeling pressured or obligated, let the person know, lovingly, without blame. Let them know of your intention to re-negotiate the commitment to the satisfaction of all parties involved. You may be surprised at how amenable the other party is to working out a new solution. There are at least 10+ solutions to every situation, so get creative.
Step 3: After you’ve re-negotiated the commitment to the satisfaction of all parties involved, honor the new commitment with excellence. Better yet, try to honor the commitment ahead of time. This will give you a great feeling of power and trust in yourself which radiates to those around you. You’ll know you can be trusted and others will too.
I make far fewer commitments now than before. I take things a little more slowly. Then I clarify what was said before I respond with a fast yes that I’ll later regret.
I pray this formula is useful for you in making and honoring commitments which propel you forward and align with your heart’s desires.
Be blessed today and every day,
Valerie Love
